Christmas in Tonga

Christmas eve. No one sleeps in Tonga.

Fireworks pop wizz and bang everywhere. A few big ones are set off outside my window, but my lack of response moves the kids to a more interesting target. The fireworks will not stop tonight - tomorrow or tomorrow night. They go on all night.

A small group of girls walks by carolling Tongan hymns about 10PM. Nice.

I decide I need to sleep. It is not possible with the fireworks and laughing kids enjoying their pyrotechnic exploits. I finally pass out in the wee hours of the morning.

I awake and the room is full of singing people? I turn on the light - no, they are not in here. But they SOUND like they are?

The church choir, all of them, are slowly walking by singing Hymns. Since the streets are only a meter or so from my window on two sides (can you say Privacy?) I am surrounding by singing Tongans. Tongan can sing. Really - they have a gift.

I check my watch it is 2:48AM.

Come to learn the church choirs start at midnight and sings until the 6AM service in the morning. Not to worry this church only does it on Christmas Eve. The BIGGER church (LongoLongo) has four choirs and they will pick up the duty tomorrow night - the same hours.

The bells are ringing, people are singing, cocks are crowing. I am up at 05:30 Christmas Morning. No signs of Santa.

I make coffee and use the toilet. I shave in the kitchen (my bathroom drains back up if I use them and I assume they are connected to the toilet? Can you say clean feet?) The kitchen sink drains to a pipe that unceremoniously dumps it's waste on the ground a few inches from the wall.

I return to the bathroom, wondering how short a shower I can take before the drain will back up. The shower only trickles, I hope I can get 30 seconds?

I look in the toilet. Another molokou! (Toxic centipede.) He has already stopped swimming. I don't know if he swam up the pipe, or took a swan dive from the lip of the toilet? Since I was sitting there a few minutes earlier I have visions of the little darling reaching over the bowl trying to get his fangs into anything hanging within reach. I decide to keep the lid up from now on, after all there are no women here to offend.

I ride my bike to town. I pass a bread shop. It is open on Christmas but only sells Christmas cakes, not something I want.

I have decided to attend the BIG Century church across from the king's tomb. It is a Free Tongan church. This will be the fourth different church I have attended since returning to Nuku'alofa.

The church is built in the European tradition. Cruciform shape and flying buttresses. It must be built well as it has apparently survived a lot of earthquakes.

I ride up to a group of ministers and inquire as to the hour of the service. I learn that it will be at 09:45. I am wearing long shorts, appropriate for the bike ride, but less so for church. I sneak around the bathroom and return in my tupenu and ta'vala. They are pleased.

I am very early and sit in the middle of church and observe. I meet some of the older men hanging around. One appears to be the youth minister. People suggest I move forward. It turns out I am sitting in the middle of the band section. Yup, they have a brass band here!

After a few moves and a lot of handshakes I end up in the middle of the church in the front row of the choir. The best seat in the house.

This is the King's church. He and his family do not show.

During the service a young boy starts running up and down the center interacting with the congregation. Yes - he has a plastic .45 and he is shooting us during the service. It is a good looking gun, even has a working slide. And no.. there is no red tip on the barrel.

After church I have lunch with my language trainer. Her house is always full of kids so it is a good place for Christmas. I have my first giant clam. I like it.

The little boy plays at slitting my throat with a toy box cutter. I have never even heard of such a thing, and as an American post 9/11 it bugs me. I smile and don't let on.

'Ofa warns me that there will be a brass band (yes another one!!!) across from my house at 3PM, so I should go now if I want a nap. It is already nearly 2.

At 3Pm the bells ring at the church, then the huge band starts up. It is 20 meters from my bed.

Around 5Pm the family I live with brings me another plate of food. It include the purple kumala (sweet potato) that I really like. I spend some time with them and learn about the four choirs that will be roaming the neighborhood tonight.

Oh well. I can always catch up on my sleep tomorrow?

Ahhhhhhh... Christmas in Tonga!